DREAMLAND I

Mulder: "Two miles to go."
Scully: "I'm all a tingle."

Scully: "Since when do you smoke?"
Morris/Mulder: "W - you're not gonna be a Nazi about it are you?"

Scully: "You got lost?"
Morris/Mulder: "I'm just a little, you know, a little lost in my head."
Scully: "Yeah."

Scully: "What is going on with you?!"
Morris/Mulder: "Will you please stop trying to pick a fight with me?"
Scully: "Mulder, you are acting bizarre!"
Morris/Mulder: "Jealous?"

Mulder: "Well, my work here is done. Have a nice day."

Mulder: "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Johnny Cash!"

Morris/Mulder: "Look little lady, I think it's time you got your panties on straight. We're Federal Officers - we go by the book."

Mulder/Morris: "I know for sure that I'm not the man you married."
Joanne: "Oh Morris, I didn't know. They have that pill now!"

Mulder/Morris: "Your brother's name is Bill Junior, he's in the Navy and he hates me."

Mulder/Morris: "Recently for lunch you've been having, like this little six ounce cup of yoghurt, plain yoghurt into which you stir some bee pollen, because you're on some kind of bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better."

DREAMLAND II

Morris/Mulder: "If you ask me he's one step away from pushing a baby carriage filled with tin cans down the street."

Morris/Mulder: "Baby!"
Scully: "Baby me and you'll be peeing through a catheter."

Morris/Mulder: (to the Gunmen) "If you guys only knew how many of your stories I dreamed up while sitting on the pot."

Morris/Mulder: (On Saddam Hussein) "Did a mean King and I."

Wakeman: "We just fly these birds. They don't tell us what makes them go, they engineer 'em up in Utah."

Morris/Mulder: "You're gonna miss me when I'm gone."
Frohike: "Fat chance laughing boy."
Morris/Mulder: "Back off sneezy."
Scully: "Enough!"

Scully: "The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest."

Scully: "I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly."

Mulder/Morris: "If I shoot him, is that murder or suicide?"
Scully: "Neither if I do it first."

RAIN KING

Mayor Gilmore: (indicating Scully) "If I'd known you were bringing the missus with you I'd have arranged for fancier accomodation."

Mulder: (on the Gundersons) "It's like looking in a mirror."

Scully: "That is not a rain dance. My Irish Aunt Olive has more Cherokee in her than Daryl Mootz."

Cow cutter: "Ma'am, unless you want to get covered in hamburger I suggest you step outside."

Scully: "Mulder when was the last time you went on a date?"
Mulder: "I will talk to you later!"
Scully: "The blind leading the blind."

Hollman: "You spend every day with Agent Scully, a beautiful, enchanting woman. You mean you two've never, er? [Pause] I confess I find that shocking. I've seen how you two gaze at each other."

Mulder: "And Hollman - I do not 'gaze' at Scully."

Mulder: "I'll build the ark you gather the animals. [Scully walks off] I was kidding!"

Scully: "Well it seems to me that the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and see something more than you did the night before, like a switch has been flicked on somewhere, and the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."

Hollman: (indicating Scully) "You should try it sometime."

TITHONUS

Mulder: "Hey Scully maybe if we get really lucky next time they'll let us clean toilet bowls."

Mulder: "Hi my name is Fox Mulder, we used to sit next to each other at the F.B.I."

Mulder: "I think that death only looks for you once you seek it's opposite."

FIELD TRIP

Scully: "Extra-terrestrial visitors from beyond who apparently have nothing better to do than buzz one mountain over and over again for 700 years?"
Mulder: "Sounds like crap when you say it."