THE BLESSING WAY

Scully: "With all due respect Sir I think you overestimate your position in the chain of command!"

Scully: "How much have you got to drink?"
Frohike: "Do you recycle?"

Albert Hosteen: "If you leave, you must not do any work, change clothes or bathe for four days."
Mulder: "That's really gonna cut into my social life."

Well-Manicured-Man: "We predict the future. And the best way to predict the future is to invent it."

PAPER CLIP

Mulder: "You're gonna have to wait a little longer for my video collection Frohike."

Scully: "What do you think your father would have been doing here?"
Mulder: "I don't know, but he never came home wearing a miner's cap."

Mulder: "I'd like to try door number one, Monty."

Mulder: "Lots of files."
Scully: "Lots and lots of files."

Skinner: "This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass!"

D.P.O.

Mulder: (on shoe cast)"That's great, now can you make me a little cherub that squirts water?"

Mulder: "8 and a half, that's pretty impressive Scully."
Scully: "Well it says it right here on the bottom."

CLYDE BRUCKMAN'S FINAL REPOSE

Scully: (on Mulder's negative energy)"I can't take you anywhere."

Clyde Bruckman: (On Mulder's badge)"I'm supposed to believe that's a real name?"

Det. Cline: "He said the body would be dumped, and now we find it in a dumpster."
Mulder: "Ooh, I just got chills."

Clyde Bruckman: "I got it! This is yours. This is from your New York Knicks T-shirt!"
Mulder: " - Miss."

Clyde Bruckman: "You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than auto-erotic-asphyxiation."
Mulder: "Why are you telling me that?"

Scully: "Mr Bruckman, there are hits, and there are misses - and then there are misses."

Scully: "Chantilly lace?"
Mulder: "You know what I like!"

Clyde Bruckman: "You do the things you do, because - you're a homicidal maniac."
Puppet: "That - that does explain a lot, doesn't it!"

Scully: "It's the bellhop at the hotel!"
Det. Cline: "How the hell does she know that?"
Mulder: " - Woman's intuition."

Mulder: "Mr Yappi, read this thought...!"

THE LIST

Scully: "Reincarnation has always been popular on death row, for obvious reasons."

Mulder: "Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who'd caused you to suffer. Who would they be?"
Scully: "I only get five?"
Mulder: "I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?"

Scully: "A woman gets lonely. Sometimes she can't wait around for a man to be reincarnated."

2SHY

Mulder: "It's not yet the finely detailed insanity that you've come to expect from me, it's just a theory..."

THE WALK

Trimble: (looking at Scully) "If I could leave my body right now, I could think of something else I'd rather be doing!"

Trimble: "You sat at home and watched the war on cable TV like it was a damn video game."

Trimble: "Now if you're through questioning me I'd like to get a little shut eye."
Mulder: "No sleepwalking."

OUBLIETTE

Scully: "That's spooky."
Mulder: "That's my name isn't it?"

NISEI

Scully: (on video)"That's not your usual brand of entertainment."

Scully: "This is even hokier than the one they aired on the Fox network."

Scully: (on the green substance)"Olive oil, snake oil... I suppose you think it's alien blood?"

Mulder: "What's intriguing to me is the striking lack of detail."
Scully: "Well what do you expect for 29.95?!"

Mulder: (on Skinner)"Oh look at that, a beacon in the night."

731

Mulder: "Scully, let me tell you, you haven't seen America until you've seen it from a train."

Mulder: (on code in video)"You mean I'm gonna get my 29.95's worth after all?"

Mulder: "Tick tick Scully."

REVELATIONS

Mulder: "Looks like Kevin was abducted by Homer Simpson's evil twin."

WAR OF THE COPROPHAGES

Scully: (answering phone)"Who died now?"

Scully: "Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girly scream?"
Victim: (off camera)"Aahhh!"
Scully: "What was that?"
Mulder: "Oh I gotta go."
Scully: "Mu - n - oh!"
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SYZYGY

Mulder: (on Det. White)"You don't suppose she's a virgin do you?"
Scully: "I doubt she's even a blonde."

Mulder: (on gloves)"I know how much you like snapping on the latex."

Mulder: "This may not be the best time to mention it, but someone's wearing my favourite perfume."

Scully: "Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big, macho man?"
Mulder: "No, I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals."

Zirinka: "I'm just waiting for authorisation."
Mulder: "I'm a federal Agent!"
Zirinka: "Last I heard the federal government couldn't pay its bills."

Mulder: "That's a bad thing?"
Zirinka: "Bad like an Irwin Allen movie!"

Mulder: "Scully, you're gonna wanna- you just ran a stop sign back there Scully."
Scully: "Shut up Mulder."
Mulder: "Sure. Fine. Whatever."

PIPER MARU

Scully: "They could drop you in the middle of the desert and tell you the truth is out there, and you'd ask them for a shovel."
Mulder: "Is that what you think of me?"
Scully: "Well maybe not a shovel. Maybe a backhoe."

PUSHER

Scully: "Inducing someone to buy a hair colour is a little different than inducing them to drive in front of a speeding truck."

Scully: "Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'the Whammy'."

Mulder: " 'Mango Kiwi Tropical Swirl.' Now we know we're dealing with a madman!"

Mulder: (on surveilance) "Think I can get the Playboy channel?"

TESO DOS BICHOS

Mulder: "If someone digs me up in a thousand years, I hope there's a curse on them, too."

Scully: (finding rat) "Label that."
Cop: "As what?"
Scully: "Partial rat body part!"

HELL MONEY

Scully: (on victim)"He was a dishwasher in Chinatown."
Mulder: "How many dishes do you have to break before your boss tosses you in an oven?"

Scully: "What's this?"
Chao: "Chinese herbal medicine."
Scully: "And what about this?"
Chao: "That's a dried frog."

Scully: "Do you know how much the human body is worth Mulder?"
Mulder: "Depends on the body."

Scully: "If I'm right this is one man who left his heart in San Francisco."

Scully: "You look like you just saw a ghost."
Mulder: "No I'm just a little tired, jumpy. If one more string of firecrackers goes off I'm gonna get out the car and shoot somebody."

JOSE CHUNG'S FROM OUTER SPACE

Blaine: "One ofthem was disguised as a woman, but wasn't pulling it off. Like her hair was red, but a little too red, you know? And the other one, the tall lanky one, his was so expressionless. He didn't even look human."

Manners: "Yep, that's a bleeping dead alien body if ever I bleeping saw one!"

AVATAR

Scully: "Business must be booming."
Mulder: "You mean banging."

QUAGMIRE

Mulder: "How many folk tales do you know that could eat a boy scout leader and a zoologist?"

Mulder: "Oh, is that the psychological approach to crimesolving, he's too embarrassed?!"

Stoner: "Dude, what's wrong with you? You made me drop my toad..."

Stoner: (on dead friend)"oh... no."

Scully: "You know, on the old mariner's maps the cartographers would designate unchartered territories by writing 'Here be monsters'."
Mulder: "Oh, I got a map of New York City just like that!"

Mulder: "You know living in the city you forget that night is actually so - dark."

Mulder: (on duck)"I'm still tempted to fire."

Mulder: (on cannibalism)"You've lost some weight recently haven't you?"
Scully: "Yeah, actually I have, thanks for... !"
Mulder: "Hehe."

Scully: "It's funny, I just realised something."
Mulder: "It's a bizarre name for a dog, huh?"

Mulder: "Scully, are you coming on to me?"

Scully: "You know Mulder you are Ahab."
Mulder: "You know it's interesting you should say that because I've always wanted a peg-leg."

Scully: "And that's not flippant?!"
Mulder: "No, flippant is my favourite line from Moby Dick - 'Hell is an idea first born on an undigested apple dumpling'."

Scully: "What was that?"
Mulder: "I don't know but it ain't no duck!"

Farraday: "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Scully: "No, no, we, er, we had a little trouble with our boat."

Scully: "Well, you slew the Big White Whale, Ahab."
Mulder: "Yeah, but I still don't have that peg-leg."

WETWIRED

Scully: "It was just like the world was turned upside down. Everybody was out to get me."
Mulder: "Now you know how I feel most of the time."